I Was Scared
by loveyousox3
Summary: Morello goes after company to fall asleep next to after a long day. One-shot. Nicky/Lorna


**A/N: **Because this fandom deserved some and I'm obsessed with both of them.

"Nicky?" Lorna approached her former lover's bed carefully, standing in front of it. The other women on the room groaned and she turned to look at them, but she didn't care much. She couldn't sleep at all after all that had been going through. "Please wake up."

She waited a few more moments and shook Nicky's waist, which was enough for her to jump up abruptly and look at the brunette like she had seen a ghost. "Morello? What the fuck are you doing here?"

"I thought I'd come and spend the night but…" she turned to leave. "I'm sorry I woke you."

"No no, come back." Nicky called, softening her voice. "Really, hey, come here." Lorna looked at the blonde, expressing a "shhh" sound. She hopped up on the bed and awkwardly lay down, staring up at Nicky. The girl was frowning and comfortably supporting herself on her elbow. "I have no idea how I managed to fall asleep after all that fuss about Chapman. You okay?"

"I can't sleep. Just let me stay here and I'll come back to mine early in the morning okay?"

Nicky passed her arm onto the brunette's abdomen and moved in closer to kiss her cheek. She spoke close to Lorna's ear, obeying the silent request. The truth was that she never expected Lorna to come back this time, after so many weeks, even though she always did. "Shh. I'm here." Nicky kissed the corner to Lorna's lips and they locked eyes. "Do you want me to just hug you?"

"That would be nice."

Silence. Of course it was too much to ask. Nicky sighed trying to not dramatize and lay down beside her, not moving her protective arm. They hugged tighter.

"Do you still have those nightmares you used to tell me you dreaded?" Lorna asked.

It took a while for any response to come out, as if her mind was somewhere completely different.

"Talk to me."

"Oh, Morello, sorry." Nicky took her chin with her free hand and slid her finger until it touched the short hair she was used to play with so she could comfort the girl she cared about the most. "I'm nowhere safe those nightmares. Times is hard round here."

"I had some tonight too, that's why I came here. I was scared." She hesitated. "It was about Christopher."

This time, Nicky sighed loudly. She took her hands back. "Look, Lorna, I know you want my company and you're trying here but if you want this to work out, don't talk about-"

"No, it's not that. It wasn't about our children not having enough diapers this time. Just me saying goodbye." The look on her face would last another two days, Nicky knew. It expressed utter disappointment and something else she couldn't yet put her finger on; like she had been abandoned way before Christopher. Like a trauma from teenage years Lorna never spoke of.

"Really?" Nicky said after a moment, eyebrows arched in amazement. She had to try to be a friend now and give the best support she'd offer anyone else. "I'm sorry you had to see that."

"No," Lorna pulled off a serious voice. "you're not. You were waiting for that all your life."

"Ow!" Nicky slapped her arm wide eyed. "Why would you say that? Now you think I take my every breath around you?"

"No, but you wanted me to see it." Lorna looked at her, directly at her lips. "And you were right, Nicholls, all along. I just can't promise you I'll be able to see that every day inside this place. My relationship with the guy used to keep me going."

"So why are you telling me this if you're not ready to let go?"

Lorna bit her lip, unsure of herself. She had come to be honest tonight. She had to say it. "I heard some talking that you might be interested in Alex."

Nicky turned her face away, hiding a smile. "Yeah, so?"

Slowly, she moved her hand back downwards, close to the younger woman's one. But she didn't touch her.

"You're my whole… _gay_ _side_, you know?" Turning to her side, she noticed the corner of Nicky's mouth changed into one of her genuine and rare grins, and entwined their fingers together.

"But I thought you didn't want me anymore."

"I'm sorry for not being a good partner to you. I know what we had was just sex, but… I like you."

Lorna raised Nicky's hand and kissed her fingers slowly, surprising the blonde with the shiver that passed through her. They fell silent again when one of the women in the room yelled a "_will you take that lesbianism somewhere else? Jeez!"_, which gave them a good reason to share a laugh and take the next step. They had all time in the world to talk.

"Come here." Nicky pulled the other's body tightly to herself and started to draw circles on her back. The self confidence she always had was far gone now, it even made her feel a little nude and completely vulnerable to this woman she had always cared about, despite her crazy actions and childlike way to think. She liked Alex, thought she was the hottest woman inside Litchfield, but Lorna had been the one paying attention to her. They deserved peace. She was willing to at least try.

Lorna moved inside her personal space and kissed Nicky tenderly, not rushing things. She put her hand on the blonde's face to caress her traces, kept pulling back when Nicky tried to deepen the kiss, just to peck on her lips and do it again. She giggled, mocking her, and when she couldn't take it anymore, the blonde pressed their bodies together and moved her free hand up to hold Lorna's stubborn lips in place.

They never knew who was the first to moan, but Lorna took Nicky's hand while they kissed like she'd never done before. She didn't intend to have sex tonight. She was terrified of her future and of herself. All she needed was presence, something else but Christopher to believe in, and that might have been just the right thing. In Nicky's arms, she was reminded that all of their time together wasn't at all just flirting, and if it had been only sex, if finally led them to something more.

"Maybe I should go now…" she said kind of dizzy after they broke apart.

"What? No way. You were scared." Nicky's hold became more rigid around her lover's body. She smiled. "Don't go."

"We'll have to sleep, though."

"That's fine, Morello. I ain't a sex machine."

They locked eyes and started to laugh, until it got so loud Lorna had to muffle her, using her hand. "Shhh. Behave." She mocked, pulling off an angry face.

"Don't let go of my hand and I'll know we haven't changed."

Lorna nodded, and they were almost asleep when she became curious about something that she also had never thought before. "What would it be like if we were out here together?"

Nicky kissed her top of her head. "Maybe someday we'll know. Sleep now, love."


End file.
